To all donors to the grace which you have helped me once again a man who loved me when I felt unloveable and continue to love me in good and bad times.
It's hard to live alone without crying best friends in the neighborhood, no one to laugh, my joy in shares. I am trying to find my true self, to find out what my God was calling me to do with my life.
So I come to you, my friends, my family, my link to sanity. You can not be here in person, even though you are so close in my souland my spirit. You are in my dreams. My dreams are comforting, solace, often with laughter, tears and a genuine embrace of those who filled my existence on this earth. Then I wake up in a world of madness and constant struggle. Struggle to make ends meet come to be one of struggle, struggle to stand strong and determined to live my life, I am encouraged as I am.
Those who do not understand about eating disorders to try and they work hard, and they do best.When people tell me how good ISearch the expenditure to the end, I had time to ask in front of the mirror when they say, were to me the truth.
It is not the same as turning to see his face, ready to my hand when I am afraid that they consider the "perfect" embrace, and the perfect smile. So you have there if I want to run, and I allow myself right into the arms running, and even if I "feel" as if I ought to be "finished" and that I am "fine" They remind me that I "bin man".
I try so hard to be strong, strong in faith, spirit,Leadership and motivation. Sometimes I can not do it and I am afraid to tell you, those who know me best. I fear that sharing the darkest words of my soul, you disappear from my life forever.
I can not do it alone and I realize, dass Once a woman is devoted to prepared to wipe off this list, mysterious and powerful disease, I am sitting here after eating too much and then wanting to eat and cleanse it, although I do not . Look at the scale I "feel" as if it actually"Call" my name. I'm fighting the urge to constantly.
According to aske the courage, the nurse, the doctors if I really "need" to get weighed, and then the other sister asked me, "you will not get it to the disease, where you start to lose and can not stop You are? "and you respond with" I'm actually recovering from the disease, and that is why I do not like to get on the scale (to the rear or even at all) "She apologized later and said she did not want to offend me, it's just that theyso proud of myself and all the hard work they have done me. That made me "feel" good and then I starting thinking about all the times I was not "good", the times I slip and let ED get Ahold of me.
I need your strength, your support, your love. I need you. On days when I wonder why I get through the pain treatment went and did it really make a difference, I remember you. On days when I feel that everything is the same in my life, I remember you.
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